Intro
Do you enjoy walking in the woods and smoking weed? Do you like smoking trees while walking amongst the trees and streams? Do you like getting down with the ganja while getting down with nature? If you answered yes to any of these, then you probably already know about disc golf. Odds are, you are so high right now that you are wondering if water is wet rather than reading this.However, I am living proof that you can enjoy the game of disc golf without making salads from the devil’s lettuce.
I am not going to attempt to explain the official rules, because I do not use them. I will give you a basic explanation of the game. I will compare it to real golf. Then I will give you some “house” rules that my friends and I use. This will not teach you how to play the game. For that, get off your ass and go play.
Image by jrbotkin from Pixabay
What is disc golf?
Like the title suggests, it is golf that you play with discs. Well you play with discs and baskets. The baskets even have chains that make it easier for you to get the disc in.
Like golf you begin at a “tee box.” The nice ones are concrete and the crappy ones are just dirt lined with 4×4’s. (The wood, not the truck – fucking rednecks) Your goal is to reach the basket in as few throws as possible. Strokes for the real golfers out there. Just like real golf there are typically nine or eighteen holes that are played in a round. The person or team with the lowest score wins the round.
Terms that are used (Same or almost as OG golf bro)
Par – The number of throws that it should take you to get it in. Posted on most tee boxes.
Ace – Hole in one. (Rare)
Birdie – One throw under par. Example for the left handed cigarette smokers: Par is three you get it in the basket in two throws.
Bogey – One over par. Just change four for the two in the previous example.
Pussied it – You throw the disc softer than you should have and left yourself super short.
The Tree Giveth, and The Tree Taketh – When you hit a tree (not the blunt, I am talking about an actual tree. Like an Oak, Pine, Hickory) Sometimes the disc will bounce back where it helps you and sometimes the disc ricochets into the only thorn bush in the entire course. This thorn bush is called Devil’s Dingleberry Bush.
Golf Verses Disc Golf
Price – Disc golf is super cheap compared to real golf. Once you buy a couple of discs you are pretty much set. Maybe $20 – $30. You can find them cheaper, if you buy them used. Or go to a disc golf course that has water and go swimming. Most courses are free to play. I think $10 is the most I ever spent on green fees. (Really nice and unkept courses are the only ones you play for.) Now once you get better you may spend more on a nice bag, nicer discs.)
Clubs V Discs – Clubs are a little easier to understand how they work. The lower the number the further you should hit them. Discs have 4 numbers on them. The first and most important number for beginners is the disc’s speed. Normally, 3 – 13. This is how hard and fast the disc has to spend to do what the other numbers are for. I did not explain that very well. Just start with about an 8 speed and as you technique and skill improve, go faster. Discs are also broken down by what they do. (similar to trying to buy golf balls). I’ll add a list after this section to explain the different discs.
Golf Carts – You do not get those in disc golf (normally). Your ass is walking. So, you get a little more exercise than regular golf. Harder to drink as much when you you have to carry your beer up a fucking 40% incline.
Water Hazards – Disc golf also has these, but you normally go get your disc when you drop it in the water. In this instance, the disc is more like your club than your ball.
Trees – Way more trees on a disc golf course. (normally) Both kinds, the trees with leaves and the trees that the leaves have been pulled from.
Solo Game – You score it like golf. You score it individually, but it is funner to play with others. You can also play teams. Captain’s ball rules.
Super Simple Disc Description
Putter – These are normally rounder (on the edge, blunted if you will). They are used to throw into the basket. You know, like putting. These are low speeds and sometimes speeds aren’t even available on the disc.
Approach – Slow speed discs that normally fly straight and used to get closer to the basket or even attempt a far putt. But be a pussy, go for it.
Mid-Range – If you cannot understand that, then do not play.
Fairway – Higher speed discs used to throw fairly far.
Distance – High speed discs that require some ass to get them to do correctly.
Some “House Rules”
I have a group of friends that used to play together a good bit and we created some house rules for our play. These are not official. These are the “Drunken Mulligan League Rules”
Five Step Rule – If you can get to your disc in five steps, cartwheels, jumps, flips, or whatever. You can get your disc and return to your original spot without losing a throw.
Five Over Rule – If you have thrown more than five over par (per hole) then you just get five over and move on to the next hole.
Bounce/ Roll Back – If you hit a tree and the disc bounces or rolls back to you. You can just throw it again.
Tree Caught It – If you disc lands in a tree/ bush and never touches the ground (must be verified by other members) Then you can throw it from the tree. You cannot remove it and throw it. You must throw it from where it is. This does not add to your throws because it is a continuation of the same throw.
Out Of Bounds – WTF is that. You throw from where it lands. If you can find it. That includes the Devil’s Dingleberry Bush, or pond, or river, or middle of a damn road.
Assists – If you are not winning another player may assist your putt. Example, they stand next to the basket, catch your disc and continue it into the basket. Also, cannot be used for birdies or better.
Mulligans – This means do over. You get three.
Giggles and Shit – If you declare a “Giggles and Shit,” you are declaring a free throw. It doesn’t count and you cannot use it. Maybe you want to try something to see if it will work or you are curious how a new disc will act. If your throw is awesome or better than your “real” throw. The group can vote to allow it. Maybe for the use of one of your mulligans.
Take Vote – We amends rules on the fly for situations. Maybe someone is having a horrible game. So, we gave him (me) an extra mulligan.
Conclusion
Disc golf is fun to play with others. It is cheaper than traditional golf. I am not that great at it. The official rules are not that important. It is all about having fun and enjoying the outdoors. I am an example that you do not need to inject marijuana to enjoy disc golf.
If you want the real rules and actual resources go to the Professional Disc Golf Association’s website: https://www.pdga.com/
I am in no way associated with the PDGA.